i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
