I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
