He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
