Where did you get a picture of my penis
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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