I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
