I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
