i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
