She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
