also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
