Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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