I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We have started to decorate penises.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
