im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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