If i come over, it means nothing
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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