it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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