I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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