Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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