Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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