When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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