He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He shit in the fireplace
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
