if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
