Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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