My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
