at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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