i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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