Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
