Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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