Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
