I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
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I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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