He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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