is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
