guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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