I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We left the knife in your bed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
