Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
