Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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