think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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