dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
