I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
