I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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