You're so nebulous sometimes
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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