Sry I called you an 8
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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