My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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