I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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