even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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