I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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