**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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