Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
