I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
