Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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