yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
