ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
