just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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