It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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