Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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