If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I look better un-naked...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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