There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Drake has all the answers
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
