The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
