paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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