I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
