I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Randomize
